SIX ESSENTIAL THINGS PARENTS SHOULD DO IN BRINGING UP THEIR CHILDREN

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SIX ESSENTIAL THINGS PARENTS SHOULD DO IN BRINGING UP THEIR CHILDREN 

Introduction

Parenting is one of the greatest responsibilities entrusted to any individual. From the moment a child is born, parents become the primary influence on the child's physical, emotional, intellectual, and moral development. While schools, religious institutions, friends, and society all contribute to shaping a child's character, the home remains the first and most important place where values, habits, and attitudes are formed.

Raising children in today's world is more challenging than ever before. Modern technology, social media, peer pressure, academic competition, and changing cultural values expose children to opportunities and risks that previous generations did not experience in the same way. As a result, parents cannot rely solely on providing food, clothing, shelter, and education. They must intentionally nurture their children's emotional well-being, guide their decision-making, and build relationships based on trust and mutual respect.

Good parenting is not about being perfect. Every parent makes mistakes, but what truly matters is the willingness to learn, grow, and consistently put the child's best interests first. Children thrive in homes where they feel safe, valued, understood, and supported. To achieve this, parents must develop qualities and habits that strengthen their relationship with their children and prepare them for adulthood.

Among the many responsibilities of parents, six stand out as particularly important: developing a listening ear and keen observation, avoiding oppression, adapting to changing circumstances, encouraging healthy socialisation, building meaningful networks, and maintaining openness. These principles create a strong foundation for raising confident, responsible, and emotionally healthy children.

1. DEVELOPING A LISTENING EAR AND KEEN OBSERVATION 

One of the most valuable qualities of a good parent is the ability to listen attentively. Many parents believe they listen to their children simply because they hear them speak. However, genuine listening goes beyond hearing words. It involves paying full attention, understanding emotions, asking thoughtful questions, and responding with empathy rather than immediate judgment.

Children, regardless of their age, constantly seek reassurance that their thoughts and feelings matter. When parents dismiss their concerns, interrupt them, or assume they already know what the child wants to say, children gradually become reluctant to communicate. Over time, they may begin to hide important aspects of their lives, making it difficult for parents to recognise when they need help.

Parents should create an atmosphere where children feel comfortable discussing both their successes and failures. Whether a child is excited about an achievement at school or worried about being bullied, they should know that their parents will listen patiently without immediately criticising or punishing them. Such an environment builds trust and strengthens the parent-child relationship.

Observation is equally important. Children often communicate through their behaviour rather than their words. A child who suddenly becomes unusually quiet, aggressive, withdrawn, or uninterested in activities they once enjoyed may be struggling emotionally or socially. Careful observation enables parents to identify these changes early and provide the necessary support before small issues develop into serious problems.

Parents should also observe their children's friendships, academic performance, online activities, sleeping patterns, and emotional reactions. This does not mean invading their privacy but remaining actively involved in their lives. Early observation can help detect issues such as bullying, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, or unhealthy peer influence.

By listening carefully and observing wisely, parents gain a deeper understanding of their children's needs and can guide them more effectively through life's challenges.

2. AVOIDING OPPRESSION IN PARENTING 

Discipline plays an important role in raising responsible children, but discipline should never become oppression. Unfortunately, some parents believe that strict control, harsh punishment, shouting, insults, or intimidation are effective ways to raise obedient children. While such methods may produce temporary compliance, they often create long-term emotional damage.

Oppression occurs when parents exercise excessive control without considering the child's feelings, opinions, or individuality. Children raised under constant fear may obey instructions, but they often struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety, resentment, and poor decision-making when they eventually gain independence.

A child who is repeatedly told they are useless, stubborn, or incapable may begin to believe those negative words. Emotional wounds caused by harsh criticism can remain long after physical punishments have ended. Instead of building confidence, oppression weakens a child's belief in their own abilities.

Healthy discipline should focus on teaching rather than humiliating. Parents should explain why certain behaviours are unacceptable and discuss the consequences of poor choices. Correcting mistakes with patience and consistency helps children understand responsibility without damaging their dignity.

It is also important for parents to distinguish between mistakes and deliberate disobedience. Children are still learning, and they occasionally make poor decisions because of immaturity rather than rebellion. Patient guidance allows them to learn from these experiences while maintaining a healthy relationship with their parents.

Respect should exist in both directions. While children should respect their parents, parents should also respect their children's emotions, opinions, and developing personalities. Homes built on mutual respect encourage honesty, cooperation, and emotional security.

3. ADAPTING TO THE CHANGING NEEDS OF CHILDREN 

Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all responsibility. Every child is unique, possessing different personalities, talents, learning styles, strengths, and weaknesses. Therefore, effective parents understand that flexibility is essential.

The methods used to care for a toddler will not be appropriate for a teenager. As children grow older, their emotional, physical, and psychological needs change. Parents must continually adjust their approach to remain supportive while encouraging greater independence.

Adaptation also involves understanding the rapidly changing world in which children are growing up. Today's children interact with smartphones, social media, artificial intelligence, and online communities from an early age. These technologies offer many educational opportunities but also expose children to cyberbullying, misinformation, inappropriate content, and online predators.

Parents who refuse to understand these modern realities may find it difficult to guide their children effectively. Instead, they should educate themselves about current trends, digital safety, and responsible technology use. By doing so, they can have informed conversations with their children rather than relying solely on restrictions.

Adaptation also means recognising each child's individual interests and abilities. Some children excel academically, while others display exceptional creativity, leadership, artistic talent, or athletic ability. Wise parents encourage these unique gifts instead of forcing every child to follow identical paths.

When parents remain flexible and willing to learn, they create an environment where children feel accepted for who they are while still being encouraged to reach their full potential.

4. ENCOURAGING HEALTHY SOCIALISATION 

Human beings are naturally social creatures, and children develop many important life skills through interaction with others. Healthy socialisation teaches children how to communicate effectively, cooperate with others, resolve conflicts peacefully, and appreciate diversity.

Parents should encourage their children to participate in school activities, sports, religious programmes, community events, and other supervised social environments. These experiences expose children to different personalities and help them build confidence outside the family setting.

Friendships also play a significant role in childhood development. Positive friendships provide emotional support, companionship, and opportunities for personal growth. However, not every friendship is beneficial. Some peers may encourage dishonesty, violence, substance abuse, or other harmful behaviours.

Parents should therefore take an active interest in their children's friends without becoming overly controlling. Inviting friends into the home, getting to know their families, and maintaining open conversations about peer relationships allow parents to provide guidance without creating unnecessary conflict.

Socialisation should also begin within the family. Family meals, celebrations, discussions, games, and shared responsibilities teach children cooperation, respect, patience, and empathy. These early experiences prepare them for healthy relationships throughout life.

Children who learn appropriate social skills are generally better equipped to succeed academically, professionally, and personally because they understand how to communicate respectfully and work effectively with others.

5. BUILDING STRONG NETWORKS 

Raising a child successfully requires the support of a wider community. The popular saying, "It takes a village to raise a child," reflects the importance of having reliable people who contribute positively to a child's growth and development.

Parents should intentionally build relationships with teachers, guidance counsellors, religious leaders, extended family members, neighbours, coaches, and trusted mentors. These individuals often provide valuable advice, encouragement, and additional perspectives that enrich a child's upbringing.

Maintaining regular communication with teachers allows parents to monitor academic progress, behavioural changes, and social interactions at school. Similarly, trusted relatives and mentors may identify strengths or struggles that parents might overlook.

Networking also provides practical benefits for parents. Sharing experiences with other parents creates opportunities to exchange ideas, discuss parenting challenges, and learn effective strategies for handling different situations.

However, parents must be careful when selecting people to include in their children's lives. A strong network should consist of individuals who demonstrate integrity, responsibility, compassion, and positive values. Children naturally imitate the adults around them, making it essential to surround them with good role models.

By creating a supportive network, parents provide children with multiple sources of encouragement while reinforcing the values taught at home.

6. BEING OPEN AND APPROACHABLE 

Perhaps one of the most important qualities of successful parenting is openness. Children should feel confident that they can discuss any topic with their parents, including difficult or uncomfortable subjects. Whether the issue involves school pressure, friendships, relationships, mental health, or personal mistakes, children need to know they will be heard with understanding rather than immediate condemnation.

When parents become approachable, communication becomes natural rather than forced. Children are more likely to seek advice before making major decisions instead of hiding problems until they become serious.

Openness also requires honesty from parents. Admitting mistakes, apologising when necessary, and explaining family decisions demonstrate humility and integrity. Children learn valuable lessons by observing parents who model honesty and accountability.

Family discussions should become a regular part of home life. Setting aside time to talk about daily experiences, future goals, current challenges, and shared values strengthens emotional bonds and prevents misunderstandings.

An open family environment does not eliminate rules or discipline. Instead, it balances authority with compassion, allowing children to express themselves while still respecting family boundaries.

Ultimately, openness creates trust—the foundation upon which lasting parent-child relationships are built.

Conclusion

Bringing up children is a lifelong commitment that extends far beyond meeting their physical needs. It involves intentionally shaping their character, nurturing their emotional well-being, and preparing them to become responsible members of society. Parents who develop a listening ear, observe carefully, avoid oppressive behaviour, adapt to changing circumstances, encourage healthy socialisation, build supportive networks, and maintain open communication provide their children with the tools needed to navigate life's challenges successfully.

No parent is perfect, and every family will encounter difficulties. Nevertheless, consistent love, patience, understanding, and commitment to these principles can have a lasting positive impact on a child's future. When children are raised in an environment where they feel heard, respected, supported, and guided, they are more likely to grow into confident, compassionate, resilient, and responsible adults who contribute positively to their families, communities, and society as a whole.

GENY